


I’m Sexy and Mortal Weapons Cannot Harm Me (But Gay Thirst Might Kill Me)?!

by Vinitharius



Category: Warcraft - All Media Types, World of Warcraft
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, F/F, Goth!Sylvanas, Humor, Nerd!Jaina, Slow Burn, Useless Lesbians
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-01-06 17:06:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18392678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vinitharius/pseuds/Vinitharius
Summary: A recent military promotion has caused Jaina Proudmoore's family to move to Dalaran in the middle of her high school career.If you couldn’t tell from the title, this is definitely a crack fic.





	1. Love Is an Open Door?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Slackergami](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slackergami/gifts), [Empress37](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Empress37/gifts).



> Some people demanded cake from me. (*cough* Tres *cough* Empress) My brain read coke...so here’s a crack fic…
> 
> Tag are subject to change once I get this show rolling.  
> Rating might get bumped up but its teen for now.
> 
> Huge thanks to my friend [MarieAnne_Cormier](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarieAnne_Cormier/pseuds/MarieAnne_Cormier) who beta read for me again.

There was nothing to be worried about. It’s just another normal day, but for Jaina, it was stressful, to say the least. Her family had recently moved to Dalaran as her mother’s military promotion called for relocation. Dalaran was definitely different from Boralus, her home of 16 nearly 17 years. The weather was different, the food tasted funny, and the culture was strange. 

It was the small differences that stood out. For example, Dalaran started school earlier than Boralus. Or the fact they never experienced spontaneous storms surges, yet they had these terrifying things called tornados. Even crazier was the policy on learners permits. They let people have them at 15. Jaina had recently gotten hers at the _reasonable_ age of 16 and would be taking the road test for a drivers license upon turning 17. 

A knock and a voice came from behind the door, “Jaina, darling? Are you ready yet? You don’t want to be late to your first day of school.”

“I’ll be out in a second, mom.” Jaina smoothed out her light blue top and checked herself in the mirror one last time before leaving. Her blonde hair was as tangle free as she could get it, her shirt was smoothed out, and her jeans weren’t too form fitting. 

Jaina walked out to the living room, mentally preparing herself for the usual first day of school speech and her mother’s gushing. She glanced up noticing only her mother was around. “Where’s Tandred?”

“He decided he was too cool to have his mother and older sister drop him off on his first day of Junior High, so he chose to take the bus.” She lamented as they walked out to the car, “My babies are all grown up.” 

Jaina loved her mother, but she could live without the trip down memory lane on the way to school. “I feel like it was yesterday when you kids were playing pirates in the backyard and sword fighting with sticks. Even Derek would join in to even out the fight against your father.” 

Jaina zoned out, watching the greenery fly by while her mother recounted one of their various escapades with pool noodles, kool-aid, and a whole lot of shaving cream. “...and I almost had a heart attack when- and it looks we’re here.”

The outside of the school looked decent. The grass was kept green and trimmed, the bushes were cut back, and the school’s sign was kept pristine. Dalaran High School. _How creative._ She thought, rolling her eyes.

“Have a great day, sweetie.” 

“I love you, mom,” Jaina replied. Her response was more automatic than conscious thought. Upon leaving the car, Jaina weaved through the drove of students and picked up her schedule from the front office.

Schedule in hand, Jaina stood on the edge of the hallway debating if she should just ask the passing tauren where the 11th-grade world history room was or to say screw it and wander the halls until she figured out room number 4S 1 ½ meant.

A voice came from her right, “Are you Jaina Proudmoore?”

Jaina was greeted by a female high elf who apparently knew who she was. The elf was slightly shorter than her. She had shoulder length silvery hair, a light purple oxford shirt, and a medium length black skirt with leggings. Her formal attire definitely stood out from the passing crowds. “Uh yes?” 

“Good.” She said with a smile and extended her hand. “Hello, I'm Vereesa Windrunner, Student Ambassador.”

“Student Ambassador?” Jaina asked, meeting her hand for a firm handshake.

“Er it's full name is School Student Ambassador. It's a fancy title for 'I signed up for a “leadership” position’ so now I'm basically school tour guide because the guidance counselor and staff don’t want to show new kids around. But it's fine. It looks good on a resume, I'm excused from class, plus I can help people.”

The hallway was mostly clear with a few latecomers trickling in as Vereesa lead Jaina around the school. She pointed out the main areas like the cafeteria, library, and gym, as well as the general layout of the wings. “So what brings you to Dalaran?”

“My mother is in the military.”

“Cool. My mother was in the military before she retired. Yours is navy right?”

“Yeah. Kul’Tiras is known for its naval academies. Mother graduated top of her class and moved up the ranks fast. She was able to hold off her transfer when we were kids, but you can only put it off so long.”

“So it's your first time moving? Must be hard moving schools at the start of your senior year.”

“I’m a junior.”

“Oh, my bad. I’m a junior too.” 

The ringing of the bell signified the starting of class. Jaina tossed a worried glance at Veressa, but she seemed nonchalant and completely unbothered by the sound, save for the momentary ear twitch. “Don't worry about the bells right now. We've been in session for a few weeks, so everyone else is used to the schedule. I'm showing you around the school, and I’m sure they'll cut you some slack as you just moved here. Speaking of schedules may I see yours?”

Jaina handed Veressa her already mangled schedule. Veressa’s blue eyes flicked quickly over the page as she ran through Jaina’s schedule. “It looks like we’ll have a lot of classes together.” She said with a smile before returning her gaze to the paper. “Okay, room four S one and one half for world history.”

Veressa caught Jaina’s look of confusion. “So it wasn’t a typo?” Jaina asked, still pondering the weird room numbering system. 

“Nope,” replied Veressa, walking towards, presumably, room 4S 1 ½. “The school is just weird. Four S means the fourth sector of the school, and the ½ part just means you’re in a room that's divided by a partition, so you’d take the first door.”

“But there’s also a room 32A,” Jaina pointed out, still frustrated. 

“Yeah, the school’s dumb,” Veressa said with a sigh. “The student body has complained about the unorthodox numbering, but the school hasn’t done anything about it, and they will likely never do anything about it. They say it ‘creates critical thinking skills and encourages communication amongst the student body.’” Veressa rolled her eyes at the school’s piss poor excuse for their shitty numbering system. 

Jaina and Vereesa walked down the locker-lined hallway until they stopped at Jaina’s world history classroom. Jaina quickly folded her schedule and shoved it in her back pocket before reaching for the door. 

“Oh word of advice,” Veressa said stopping Jaina before she opened the door, “Check the chairs before you sit down. Some of them are a bit broken, so if you have a tendency to sit close to the front of it, it will flip, and you will fly forward until you slam into something on the way down.”

* * *

Jaina’s day went off without a hitch. Her teachers seemed nice. She caught up with Veressa in art class and got introduced to her friends during lunch. She was even getting a hang of the weird layout. 

In the hallways, Jaina stopped outside the gym to check her schedule for the room number of her next class. She precariously balanced her three textbooks with her right arm while she struggled to get the paper out of her back pocket. Suddenly she heard a click before the door swung open, colliding into her. 

The next moment, Jaina found herself lying on the floor, stunned and irritated. As she was about to voice her anger at the moronic owner of black boots, a feminine voice cut her off. “My bad, I didn’t see you there.”

Jaina glanced up from the floor, her eyes traveling up from the boots to the deliciously tight black leather pants. She wore a strange black t-shirt. Its design looked to be some sort of heavy metal t-shirt with a hybrid of a pentagram mixed with a heart on it. The woman bent down, extending her hand to help her up. Her hand was adorned with a multitude of silver rings, and she had long black stiletto nails. Jaina wouldn’t mind them trailing down her back as the woman—

Jaina snapped herself out of her fantasy, feeling foolish for imagining herself with a stranger. The same stranger who was still hovering over her with her hand out to help her. Jaina grasped the lady’s hand who in return pulled her up with ease. Finally standing, Jaina got a better look at the clumsy goth. She was a tall blonde with the most striking blue eyes, and from the look of her twitching ear, most definitely elven.

The elf coughed to get her attention, “You dropped these.” 

Jaina looked down, sure enough, the elf had her dropped books in hand. Somehow the elf managed to grab them without her noticing. Jaina’s heart raced as she panicked, _How long did I zone out gawking at her?!_

The woman flashed a sly, fang-filled smile and shoved the books in her open hands. Jaina barely got her hands around the books as the elf walked away. Jaina was completely dumbfounded as she watched the elf disappear. _What the hell just happened?!_ She thought while dealing with her heart hammering away in her chest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to tell me what you think in the comments below. 
> 
> If anyone can guess the name of the band Sylvanas' shirt was referencing I might hug you.


	2. Oh, You’re Here, and I’m Queer

Jaina’s shock wore off as dozens of students walked past her, and she recalled why she stopped in the first place. Moving off to the edge of the hallway, Jaina finally yanked out her schedule from her back pocket. Her next class was Chemistry with Mr. Antonidas. She heard great things about him being one of the greatest teachers at the school, if not the best teacher. The cynical part of her said that must be hyperbole, but the science nerd in her hoped it was true. 

Jaina made it to the classroom with relative ease. Walking through the threshold, Jaina was greeted by an elderly man writing formulas on the whiteboard. 

“You must be the new student, Jaina Proudmoore. Please take a seat.” He said gesturing to the only open seat in the of the room. And as (bad) luck would have it, the seat was _right_ next to the same person she ran into in the hallway. _This has to be the work of the cruel gods._ She thought as she pulled out the chair. 

She sat down without thinking, and that’s when she realized she messed up big time. Jaina’s eyes snapped wide open as she yelped. The next second she found herself on the fast track to the ground, _again_. Jaina managed to catch herself before she collided with the ground, but the damage was already done. 

Everyone’s eyes were already fixed on her for being the newest student, so, of course, they saw everything. Most were kind enough not to burst into laughter, some suppressed their amusement into snickering, but the elf beside her was obviously having the time of her life snickering up a storm and shaking with laughter in her seat. _Of course, this would happen to me._

Jaina’s body betrayed her as she reddened with embarrassment. Normally this would’ve been something she would brush off, as shit happens, but first impressions do matter. The last thing she wanted to do was look like a dim-witted klutz in front of her peers. She refused to fit the dumb blonde stereotype and everything it stood for. It was demeaning to imply she was only good for arm candy, and she hated the dumb stereotype with a burning passion. The reason for embarrassment was totally about fitting the stereotype. It wasn’t like she wanted to impress someone… because that would be strange. 

Jaina shot her new peer a side glance. The goth beside her seemed to finally get over it and stilled in her seat. If Jaina paid more attention earlier, she would have noticed the ear flick of a certain elf when her name was first mentioned. She pulled out her notebook and started to jot down the formulas and notes. She wasn’t about to let slight public embarrassment ruin her day or curb her passion for learning. 

Looking over to her right again, Jaina saw the most dispassionate student ever. She gave the elf credit, she did manage to care just enough to scribble down a few notes before she zoned out, focusing on anything that wasn’t the teacher or subject matter. Jaina was surprised the teen didn’t pull up an empty chair to rest her feet on as she checked her nails for the umpteenth time. 

* * *

By the time Jaina returned to her house, she was completely exhausted. She walked into the house took off her shoes and ditched her bag, making her way to her room. Her mother had already put her through the obligatory ‘how was your first day of school’ spiel during the car ride back home, so all Jaina wanted was to decompress and relax. 

Jaina flopped down on her bed and stared up at the ceiling as she went through the day’s events. She made at least one new friend with the school ambassador and made new acquaintances during lunch. Her teachers were wonderful. Barring the chair incident, everything went well. 

Naturally, her thoughts drifted back that infuriating elf. Jaina hated that snickering elf. She could have had the common decency to hold her laughter in or at the very least laugh like a normal person. Instead, she made side glances at Jaina and continued being amused long after the event passed. 

Not to mention her elven classmate’s general lack of concern for the class. She didn’t take notes, she reclined in class, and she managed to crack every _single_ knuckle joint agonizingly slow. As her encore, she cracked her wrist. Her wrist. _Who cracks their wrist joints?_ Jaina almost reached her breaking point when she smelled nail polish. When she looked over at the elf, she was busy painting her long nails in another layer of black paint, right in the middle of class, during instruction, without hiding it at all. Jaina took deep breaths as she reined in her thoughts. _Why am I devoting so much time to such an insignificant person? I don’t even know her name._

Another part of her mind chimed in, _It's because you think she’s cool._

Jaina had to admit the elf’s peculiar outfit was _pretty_ stylish. She rationalized that all goths looked pretty cool. It was all that black clothing and stylish silver jewelry. Nothing more, nothing less. She just liked the aesthetic. 

A knock came from the door. “Hey, sis. I know you like your alone time, but you’ve been in there for over an hour.” Tandred paused. Jaina could faintly hear the sound of her mother’s yelling through the door. “Mom, says dinner will be ready in 30 minutes.” 

“I’ll be there when it's ready,” Jaina said, as she rose from her bed, deciding to busy herself with Chemistry before dinner. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Lunch and Nathanos will be making an appearance...


	3. Jam or Jelly?

Jaina pulled up a chair to join her friends at their table. From across the way, she saw what she could only describe as goth central. The table consisted of a bunch of goth looking elves, including Miss Underachiever. Jaina watched as a goth looking human walked up and started talking to Lady Knuckle-cracker. It was at this moment she decided she inexplicably hated the dude. She also made a mental note to come up with a better name for the elf or somehow learn her actual name. 

A voice called, snapping Jaina away from her thoughts. “Hey, Jaina you’re smart.” Vereesa asked, “Is there a difference between the two?” 

Jaina had no idea what was going on as she was far more engrossed into the events happening at the table across the way. Before Jaina could answer Vereesa, the conversation moved on with the golden-eyed elf, Liadrin, talking to the gnome girl across from her. 

“What I’m saying is there _is_ a difference between jelly and jam.” 

“Oh, how so?” Asked the gnome, Kinndy Sparkshine, if Jaina recalled correctly. 

“Jelly is smooth. Jam, on the other hand, is lumpier.” 

“Then what are preserves?” 

“Uh, good question...” Liadrin trailed off, looking at the indifferent night elf beside her, Maiev Shadowsong, for help. 

Maiev sighed as she got pulled into the pointless conversation. “Jelly is smooth, jam is lumpy, and preserves are clumpy.” 

“Ew,” Kinndy exclaimed, looking horrified. “I can’t believe you killed my appetite!” She complained, being bothered by the adjective clumpy being used in reference to food. “I’ve been starving since math, and I was looking forward to my peanut butter and jam sandwich.” 

“Yeah, how dare you ruin the sanctity that is lunch period.” 

“It was already desecrated by the dreck they call food.” 

“How did we even get on this topic?” Jaina asked, circling back to the jam vs jelly discourse. 

“I asked Kinndy what she was eating, and she said a peanut butter and jam sandwich. Then Liadrin questioned if she meant jelly. And fruit freak over there,” Vereesa pointed to Maiev. “just had to prove her expertise.” 

“Hey, I resent that remark,” Maiev grumbled before she tore into another apple. 

“And you missed the most important part: she _ruined_ my sandwich.” 

“Shaddup and eat your _jammed_ sandwich,” Maiev responded, tossing a grape at Kinndy’s general direction. 

“Was that a food pun, Maiev?” Liadrin asked, wagging her eyebrows. 

“Why do I even eat with you people?” Maiev groaned as Liadrin wrapped an arm around the night elf's shoulder. 

“That’s because you love us.” She said as she pulled Maiev into a tight side hug. Maiev grimace, rolling her eyes as she light-heartedly shoved the high elf off her. 

Across the way, Jaina saw the man make a heart shape with his hands. The goth woman stared at him _so_ passionately. _They must be lovers._ Jaina thought completely disgusted. 

“Jaina, are you ok? You’ve hardly spoken,” Vereesa asked in a concerned motherly tone. 

“I’m fine,” Jaina answered dismissively, not wanting her friends to get involved in her complicated feelings. _Why the hell should I care about who she dates? I don't even know her name._

_You don't know_ yet, said the other part of her brain. 

“Fine?” Kinndy asked, chiming in, “You’ve been staring daggers at table Dark and Broody during the whole lunch period.” 

“Did they do something to you?” Vereesa questioned sharply. “If they did, I’ll take care of it for you.” 

“You just want an excuse to start a fight,” the night elf said. 

Vereesa stood up and harshly retorted, as if a switched snapped in her. “Like you wouldn’t, Maiev?” The woman in question had nothing else to say as she already got involved in an altercation within the first month of school. 

“Is this something you can say being a rep and all?” 

“You’re one to talk, Liadrin.” Vereesa’s silver eyes burned with wrath as she pointed an accusatory finger in her direction. “You frequently skip sixth period _all_ the time. Are you _sure_ you want to be the responsible one?” With no one challenging her, Vereesa sat back down. 

Vereesa definitely seemed to have a personal issue with the goth group. Her reaction went far beyond the realm of a concerned friend. Something must have happened between someone at that table and her. Jaina wanted to ask, but judging by Vereesa’s reaction and heavy breathing, it wasn’t the time. 

* * *

Sylvanas sipped her water as she watched Jaina Proudmoore who was dragging a chair over to a table to sit with her friends. Sylvanas had a perfect, unobstructed view of the new girl from across the lunch room. 

A loud voice from beside her cried, “Hey, Cloudwalker!” Sylvanas broke eye contact with her query to glare at the emerald-eyed elf. 

“What, Valeera!?” She snapped. 

“You seem to be _really_ enjoying that water there,” Valeera smirked, raising her eyebrow up and down. 

“Shaddup,” Sylvanas replied, reaching her hand to Valeera’s right shoulder and giving her a forceful shove. Valeera dropped some of her fries as she didn’t want to land on the disgusting food caked floor. 

“Oh is that Jane, the new girl?” Velonara asked, feigning ignorance. 

“Jaina,” Sylvanas corrected, automatically. 

Velonara flashed an all-knowing smile. “So, you do know her?” 

“Of course, we have chemistry together.” 

Valeera faked a cough and muttered under her breath, “You wish.” 

Sylvanas glared back into her emerald eyes. Valeera smirked, she _totally_ wanted her to hear it. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sylvanas started, “I _only_ know her name because she made a name for herself.” 

“Oh, believe me. We’ve _heard_ about the chair incident,” Velonara said. “Don’t think we didn’t hear about you too. You were _giggling_ about it practically forever, or so they said.” 

“I wasn’t giggling about a girl!” 

Velonara cracked a smile, “I never said anything about a girl, Sylv.” 

“Your defensiveness is telling a different story from the tune your singing,” Valeera added, sharing an even wider smirk. 

Sylvanas was about to wipe the smug grins off her so-called friends’ faces as Nathanos walked up to the table. 

“Gods, I saw the ugliest thing today,” he started as he placed down his tray. 

“Was it you in the mirror?” Sylvanas gibed. 

Velonara choked on her soda from her laughter. 

Valeera extended her thumb and pinky finger, raising them to her ear. “Yeah, hello. 9-1-1 I’d like to report a murder.” 

Nathanos facepalmed, he should have realized he was walking straight into that one. “When I said roast me, I didn't mean crucify me.” 

“Okay, then take a shot at me.” 

“Alright,” he accepted, “One sec, I need a moment to come up with something.” After a pregnant pause, Nathanos started, “Sylvanas, your entire life is like a slow burn in a shitty romance novel,” Sylvanas chuckled as he continued without thinking, “but in the end, you’ll never get the girl.” Sylvanas’ grin dropped. “Instead your love interest will fall for some guy leaving your sad ass in the dust.” 

A silence fell across the table as Nathanos realized he might have gone too far and too personal. “I’m so sorry, Sylvanas. I-” he apologized before Sylvanas cut him off. 

“No, it’s fine.” Deep down, Sylvanas had to admit it bothered her. Relationships always come and go, but being blatantly confronted with a realistic outcome was still very unsettling to her. 

“But-” 

“I’m good,” Sylvanas ended the conversation, leaving the table in awkward silence. Velonara busied herself with the soggy, yet somehow burnt, hamburger she previously called unfit for consumption. Likewise, Valeera shoveled fries into her mouth, despite complaining the majority of them were like limp, oil-soaked sponges. Sylvanas didn’t want to strike up small talk, and Nathanos seemed to place himself on a self-imposed verbal timeout. 

Sylvanas grew tired of watching her friends gorge themselves on the subpar cafeteria food. Because listening to the din of the lunchroom was only so entertaining, Sylvanas went back to her previous activity before her friends interrupted her. Or she would have if Nathanos’ form wasn’t blocking her perfect view. 

“Nathanos, could you please move over to the left?” she asked. 

“Of course,” he said, happy to comply. 

“A bit more,” Sylvanas waved a hand to indicate the distance. “More.” Nathanos scooted the chair over. “More.” He moved again, but Sylvanas kept waving him on. Tired of damaging the school floor, he got up and pulled the chair over. She stopped gesturing, “And good.” Sylvanas moved him far to the side, where he was practically on top of Velonara. 

Curious about what Sylvanas was looking at, Nathanos turned around. He easily identified what she was staring at, and with a grin, he started, “Oh, it's the new girl.” He scratched his head, “Jane, right?” 

“Jaina,” she said without losing focus. 

“Same difference.” 

“No, it’s not,” she said, plainly. 

Sensing he was getting nowhere with teasing her, Nathanos slowly and loudly scooted his chair back to block her view. 

Sylvanas frowned, “Nathanos, you’re in the way.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, dear,” he said, stretching to block even more of her view. 

Sylvanas moved slightly to get a better view, but each time Nathanos moved to counter her. Finally, Sylvanas’ eyes glowed as she growled, “Get. Out. Of. The. Way.” 

“Yes, ma’am,” Nathanos cowered and quickly moved over. He could easily feel her murderous aura from across the table and knew better than to push his luck. 

“Um, Sylv. You might want to cut back on your staring,” Velonara interrupted. “People are starting to get the wrong idea.” 

From surrounding tables, people took notice of Sylvanas’ staring. They started whispering about it, spreading their various theories. All of their conversations were easy for elves to hear, so everyone except Nathanos could eavesdrop with their sensitive ears. 

* * *

“Dear gods, she’s going to kill that poor girl,” exclaimed a gnome female, who noticed Sylvanas’ murderous glare from when Nathanos pissed her off. 

… 

“My money is on Windrunner kicking that nerd’s ass,” stated a male goblin. 

“Are you sure about that?” questioned another goblin, “I hear the girl is from Kul Tiras, and Kul Tirans can kick some _serious_ ass.” 

Sylvanas rolled her eyes. Of course, she could take on that nerd. 

“Hey, a nerd is a nerd.” 

Sylvanas nodded, _Damn, straight. I can_ easily _take her._

… 

“I hear the new girl’s family is military,” said a human male. 

_Military,_ Sylvanas thought, _that’s good to know._

“I heard the girl pissed off Windrunner, so she retaliated by slamming a door in her face,” said a human female. 

_That was an accident. No one should stop and stand there. Anyone who is dumb enough to do so deserves a door to the face. Besides, I stopped and helped her up again._

“I heard that too,” chimed in another, “She even threatened her so she can’t go to the school administration.” 

_Where is all this slander coming from?!_

“Should we get involved?” 

“Hell no! I don’t want a target on my back.” 

… 

“My bet is that Windrunner will shiv her outside of school,” said a female night elf. 

“Why use a shiv?” A male night elf responded, chuckling, “She’d clearly enjoy beating the shit out of that puny human.” 

_You have one fist fight, and everyone assumes you’re a bad person._ Sylvanas sighed, _It's like people don’t even pay attention. It was years ago, and we made up._

* * *

Back in Freshman year, Sylvanas Windrunner and Valeera Sanguinar were mortal enemies constantly at each other's throats until one day it turned physical. Sylvanas couldn’t recall what or who started the fight, but she did recall getting punched in the face and having her nose broken. She also recalled retaliating by punching Valeera in the face until she saw blood before she grabbed and slammed Valeera’s face multiple times into the metal exterior of a nearby locker. 

Valeera broke free long enough to land multiple kicks to her shins and strikes to her ribs. The people gathering in the halls gave them a wide berth as they watched the fight from the sidelines. Valeera slammed an elbow in Sylvanas face causing further injury to her definitely broken nose as a commotion came from the crowd. A tall, blonde high elf bursted through the crowd. It was Alleria Windrunner. Her first action was pulling Sylvanas off Valeera, and her second action promptly followed as her fist collided with Sylvanas’ left cheek. 

“Sylvanas,” her sister roared, “what the hell is your problem?!” Alleria grabbed her by the ear and dragged her away as Valeera watched, nursing her injuries. Her face was a bloody mess from Sylvanas’ rings and being slammed into the locker. Alleria leaned in, “Sister, dearest,” she whispered into Sylvanas’ ear, “If Mother doesn’t kill you, I _will_.” 

When the school administration finally addressed the fight—long after it was broken up—they sentenced both Windrunners and Valeera Sanguinar to two weeks of ISS and gave them 6 demerits. The in-school suspension was rather tame in comparison to what their mother had in store for them when they got home. 

Lireesa Windrunner ran her house like she led her men. She instilled the fear of the goddess in their hearts and minds while pushing them to their physical limits. She demanded things done right and forced people to restart at the slightest mistake. By the time she was done with her daughter, Sylvanas was sore for weeks and wished Valeera broke her ribs. 

* * *

Getting back on track, Sylvanas eavesdropped on another group of humans talking. 

“I still think she’s a vampire,” a guy asserted, suspicious of Sylvanas’ appearance. 

“So you think she’s stalking her prey?” asked a concerned female. 

“Exactly,” he exclaimed, “I mean she has fangs.” 

Someone questioned, “Don’t all elves have fangs?” 

“Um, maybe?” 

“By your logic, a night elf would be…” 

“A super vampire,” he screamed, with glee. “I mean look at those chompers.” 

_Super Vampire._ Sylvanas chuckled, rolling her eyes. 

… 

“Hmm, do you think she has a thing for her?” suggested an orc. 

“Like romantically?” replied the dwarf. 

“No as a friend, like a gal pal—the type of friend you’d rent a house or apartment with, share a bed with, and maybe even adopt and raise a kid with,” the orc mocked, rolling his eyes. “Of course I mean romantically.” 

“Now that you mention it she does stare at her rather passionately.” 

_And that's enough eavesdropping for today._

* * *

“Nathanos, move back over a bit,” Sylvanas said, moving him just enough so people would think she's talking to him instead of staring down her sister's new friend. 

“I thought you'd never ask,” he beamed, flashing an over exaggerated smile. To top it off, he joined his hands together to form a heart. 

Sylvanas rolled her eyes at his over the top shenanigans. “You're going to send the wrong message to people.” 

Across the way, something big was happening at Jaina's table. Vereesa pushed back her chair and stood up. It was obvious that she was in a heated argument with the other people at the table. 

“What's eating at your baby sister?” Velonara asked, watching the scene unfold. Vereesa was now pointing a finger in Liadrin’s face. 

“Haven't got the foggiest clue,” Sylvanas said, blasé. “Who knows what set her off this time?” 

“But wouldn’t you know the most? I mean you live with her.” 

“I _cohabitate_ with her,” Sylvanas corrected. “We don’t really interact too much, and we hardly speak to one another.” 

“But weren’t you close to her?” inquired Valeera, being the newest member of Sylvanas’ ragtag group. 

* * *

Back when Sylvanas and Vereesa were young, they were inseparable. Being the closest in age only separated by a year, they had the most in common. As kids, they played fantasy games, often involving Alleria as the unwilling antagonist. Sometimes they were noble bandits stealing from an evil queen. Other times they were knights defeating an evil sorceress. Later in life, Alleria, again, was the target as they pulled stupid pranks and screwed with her by stealing her car keys. 

By the time they entered middle school and junior high, they drifted apart. Sylvanas went off to be with her friends. Vereesa made new friends and spent time with them. Vereesa was forever in the shadows of her sisters’ fame. She was never as popular as her oldest sister, Alleria, and Sylvanas outdid her academically. Although their mother was also proud of her, Vereesa wanted to shine on her own merit. 

When Vereesa entered high school, she wanted to be a class representative. However, she was once again followed by the Windrunner legacy. It turned out her idol and older sister, Sylvanas, had garnered a reputation as the school’s resident delinquent. People assumed she would be like her sister and cause trouble. Fighting against people’s assumptions, Vereesa was elected as representative and worked hard to detangle herself from Sylvanas’ reputation. 

* * *

The bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. Students got up and started moving to their sixth-period class. Sylvanas slowly got up, wondering whether she had to deal with her sister, or better yet, avoid her when she returned home. Walking towards Chemistry class, fragments of the dwarf and orc’s conversation came drifting back to her mind. Sylvanas Windrunner was most definitely not interested in her sister’s new friend romantically or otherwise. 


End file.
